Instinct over reason
by ex0
Summary: "Yuigahama Yui is a nice girl who wants the situation to remain the same between us. Yukinoshita Yukino is an overwhelmed soul at a crossroads, wondering what to do. I let Yuigahama have the final word. Since then, my feeling of guilt never mounted to such heights." Takes place after last episode from Zoku with a twist: Hachiman didn't stop Yui pushing her decision onto them.
1. Reasons to worry

_Hey everyone. This will be a slight AU where Hachiman didn't interfere when Yui pushed Yukino to accept her ''solution'' at the end of Zoku. I'm not a LN reader so I'll only use what I remember from the anime. Don't hesitate to tell me if there's something wrong._

 _This is my first fic in a long time, especially in English which isn't my native language. As I have no proof reader, you may encounter tense inconsistency, grammar mistakes and limited vocabulary. I have no pretension to say this story will be as good as the many others out here, the Oregairu section has a lot of talented writers. I merely wish to write my story and share it. Without further ado, here it is._

 _DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters present in this work, besides my OC. They are Wataru Watari's._

* * *

I don't know who was the idiot who said if you got a problem you can't fix by yourself, you should work on it with someone else because otherwise no one will rely on you. I'm always being relied upon despite being a loner trying hard to keep matters personal. It's annoying. They all voice their wild expectations out there and you're supposed to meet these or else you'll be labeled as an unreliable person.

In the case you fail to do so, don't let them fool you.

Their _"It's okay, at least you did your best for me!"_ is a convenient lie for themselves to look the part of a good person. They'll talk about you, saying how they hoped you would help them and how you ended up not living up to it. People want results, not good intentions. That's how the world truly works.

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama put an halt to their discussion and I interrupt my train of thought as Isshiki Iroha enters the Service Club's room. Cheeky little kouhai, you never miss the chance to steal the spotlight.

Am I not the protagonist of this story?

 **"** **Yahallo! It's your President coming through!"**

She is as hyper as usual, flashing that grin of hers to everyone present. I merely put a forced smile on my face. As usual too.

 **"** **Hello Isshiki-san."**

 **"** **Yahallo, Iroha-chan! What brings you here today?"**

Yukinoshita's salutation and Yuigahama's overly enthusiastic response also are a no-brainer. I see we still travel in the land of cliché, even as we rather freshly entered this year, nothing changes.

Yes.

Nothing changed, even after all _that_.

 **"Mou! Senpai! Would it kill you to consider saying hello?!"**

 **"** **It wouldn't. In fact it didn't. I did consider it and in doing so, chose to stay silent."**

Why are you looking at me with these mean eyes, Irohasu? I answered your question just now you know. You said nothing about me having to answer what you actually wanted to hear from me.

I glance at Yukinoshita who just looks annoyed. I'm in for one of her traditional retorts. I can feel it.

 **"** **Putting that-… putting Hikigaya-kun aside,**

Oi, woman. Watch your tongue.

 **Yuigahama-san and I are ready to listen to your request."**

Isshiki smiles at the both of them, before turning to me once more with a concerned look.

Oi, woman. I don't need your pity.

 **"** **Haha… Well… I'm in a bit of a pickle. I need your help with something."**

You couldn't state the obvious in a better way even if you tried. Now just sit and explain, dammit.

And thankfully, she just does that.

 **"** **You see, I've been confessed to… and I don't know how to reject someone's confession."**

What are you acting all fidgety and shy for, you sly fox. Not good at rejecting?

Ha!

How about you use some of your innumerable comebacks you usually save for me, uh? It's time to show me all this training wasn't in vain.

 **"** **I forgot to add it's the first time I got confessed to…!"**

Stop it right there, you're not convincing me. You may lower your head and hide behind your bangs, but you're not fooling me! There is absolutely no way you didn't get confessed to before that. Your words, your attitude and your body movements seem rehearsed.

I'm seeing through your disguise, Isshiki.

Let me rectify your statement. You were very used to rejecting people. However, since you just got rejected by Hayama, you finally understood what it feels like to have your love denied. It was probably the first time a boy said no to you too.  
Conclusion: You don't want to feel bad about yourself now that you know.

The peach haired girl next to the black haired one looks like she wants to add something. Stop hesitating already. Out with it!

 **"** **I understand! I mean… not really since it never happened to me but… I think I totally can anyway!"**

Yuigahama… Fighting! I'm positive someone will surely fall in love with your bo-… beautiful self. Saaaaaafe. I nearly got that wrong.

I hear Yukinoshita sighing.

 **"** **More love related requests…"**

I catch a sight of her rubbing her temples. Yukinoshita will get through this; this is business as usual for her, despite her aversion for the aforementioned topic.

Isshiki stares at me.

 **"** **What."**

 **"** **You will help me too, right?"**

 **"** **If I don't, I'll probably never hear the end of it. For starters it will be from you, and then from them."**

I make a gesture to indicate my fellow club members.

 **"Can't have that happen, this will tire me out real quick and I'd rather get this over with."**

I feel like it'll be quicker to solve the situation than trying to avoid it.

Isshiki gives me a contemptuous look. What did I do to deserve it, I wonder?

 **"** **Hmph. As long as you help me, that's what matters I guess. Don't expect any thanks from me with what I just heard though!"**

 **"** **Let me reassure you on that point: expecting things from others is against my policy, so don't worry about it, I won't."**

* * *

I've been too late on many occasions in my life; late to wake up, late to class, late to family gatherings, late to study… late to realize several things around me.  
I often think about this, and these thoughts assault me once more as I'm showering. I'm beside myself with doubts, regrets and hesitation. The monster of logic that I am, usually undisturbed by something like tardiness, is deeply hindered this time.

Why though? Tardiness can always be explained after all. Can you believe it? The power of unflinching reason being weakened this much by an obstruction one may call a "bond" is a thought I surely can't handle. I wasn't strong enough to deny Yuigahama's thoughts and actions and this is the price to pay, uh…? When confronted to these bonds, the strength of logic could only crumble, proven to be nothing more than a house of cards exposed to violent winds. And I hate this.

I finish my morning routine and get out of the bathroom, meeting face to face with my sister. She looks like a walking disaster. Her hair is a mess, even more so than the rare times I saw her waking up late, she wears a scowl on her face and her eyes may very well look as dead as mine. Saying this is shocking is an understatement; this is unfathomable. The Hikigaya household has never been in such a predicament in the seventeen years I've lived in it!

 **"** **Yo. Can I ask if you are ok?"**

I just can't think of anything else to say. Really, you should see this for yourself. If it weren't for me, anyone would have run out of the house.

 **"** **Shut up, gomi-chan. Out of the way."**

Scary. Please spare me, I don't want to die yet. I have great things to live and to do in my life. Like Totsuka making me breakfast and waking me up. And also to strangle the first boy who puts his hands on Komachi. The situation thus brings me to diligently obey.

 **"** **Sure. If… if you need it, I can offer an ear to your troubles. Don't forget it, Komachi."**

 **"** **Hn."**

Eh.

I guess that's about just as much I could get out of her right now. She'll fly to me when she feels better. You can count on it. This is experience speaking, I'm definitely not delusional there.

As a responsible brother, I should help my little sister when she's in such a state. Naturally and logically the only option, I make my way to the kitchen. Putting the pan on the fire, I crack some eggs and pour them in. This is one of my 108 skills, Hikki Cooking. I can cook any eggs I may find, and only eggs. This is a specialty; I'm the best you may find in that department and this is irrefutable. I shall not accept any sort of contestation!

Just as I hear the water stopping in the bathroom, I put the rice in the rice cooker and patiently wait for Komachi to come here for breakfast. She probably rushed her morning shower, thinking she had to cook as usual despite being so late. I can't wait for her face to light up when she will see what her amazing brother just did for her. Mh-mh. A fine play indeed, Hachiman!

 **"** **I see you can be at least** ** _that_** **useful, gomi-chan."**

She slowly walks in the room, her hair still wet from the shower she just took. Her bed hair has been fixed but I notice her scowl hasn't been washed away by the morning ritual. My, my, what can I say. You're becoming more and more like your dear brother and this is a refreshing thought blessing me this early in the day.

 **"** **Don't underestimate my skills. I'm striving to be a full-time stay-at-home husband after all."**

The look she gives me right now can kill. The fact that I'm not dead is simply because we share the Hikigaya bloodline trait; a trait making us immune to a Hikigaya Death Glare. Komachi's mood doesn't seem like it'll get any better as she sits in front of me and proceeds to put her head on the table, in her folded arms. Good grief, what must be done to make your little sister light up, hm?

 **"** **Oi. You'll be late, do you thi-"**

 **"** **Shut your mouth."**

Her tone is as icy as Yukinoshita's. This is a first, and it hurts even someone like me who's used to that. But not from Komachi.

 **"** **That's not how you talk to someone who just wants to warn you for your best interest."**

 **"** **I don't have time to have anything to do with you today. Deal with it."**

Who are you and what have you done to my sister, you damn fake?! Komachi never ditches her dear brother.

I proceed to eat my breakfast in the meantime; I don't have it in me to come late to Hiratsuka-sensei's class. Having that class first thing in the morning is a pain but what can I say… That is school for you.

Komachi starts to eat silently across the table with her head down, making me unable to see her face. She seems really troubled by something but I decide not to push my luck now, it would not be efficient to do so at the moment. Even if I know that, it still doesn't change the fact that it's also troubling me to see her in that state. I'm her brother after all and it's in brothers' nature to worry about their little sister at least this much. Uh-uh.

Being finished with breakfast before Komachi, I head over the kitchen to clean my dishes. I'd better get going now. I can still make it if I ride my bike a bit faster than usual.

 **"** **I'm going. You and I will have a conversation after class once we're home."**

I declare my intention to get her to talk things out before exiting the room, with a tone you can maybe assimilate to one a father would have with her daughter. The kind of tone making the statement I made not negotiable. I don't deny it, I feel a lot responsible for Komachi even though she has loving parents. Hell, Mom is clearly doting on her way more than she cares for me and it is plain as day. Is it so hard to love both of your children equally? I don't know, I'm neither a husband nor a father yet, but I think I wouldn't play favorites. I don't want to regret it later on, when one of my children begins to follow the path of a loner-… wait.

Dangerous, dangerous.

I almost went through self-pitying mode there and that would be wrong in several ways; mostly, refuting my way of living so far, and this is the one thing I don't want because such is the life I opted for.

* * *

I never thought possible our class to get on another trip so soon and so early in the year. If high-school taught me something, it's that Hiratsuka-sensei never fails to surprise me with her lack of logic as a teacher for our class. Why the hell would you want to go to Hokkaido when the weather is already cold here? And to Mount Furano?! We're going to freeze to death, you know. I hope you won't feel too guilty when we do.

First things first, to have the trip planned and sorted out in a week's time is nothing short of incredible, especially when you consider said trip is happening next Monday. What is the director of this school even doing? Can't you stop that crazy teacher once in a while? Komachi doesn't need that either! You might question what my little sister's importance in this is, and you are right to ask so let me answer that for you: in her present condition, Komachi needs the support of her big brother more than ever.

The End.

Screw school trips! Big brothers should be exempted from these permanently!

 **"** **We couldn't get a bus to get to Oarai's port, so we will need your parents or someone from your family to get you there. For those who really can't rely on their family, I will drive them there. Once we arrive to Tomakomai by boat, we'll get the train to Kami-Furano. Our guide will get us to the hotel and to the mountain the next day."**

Oi, sensei. No one wants to die before freezing on Mount Furano. Please do not drive us. How will I get out of this… time to think of an escape plan, Hachiman!

Just as I think that, I instantly notice Hiratsuka-sensei glaring at me. Okay, I give up. These eyes clearly mean _"don't you dare think you can skip on this"_.

 **"** **The purpose of this trip will be to get the young generation you represent to realize what nature has to offer to you. Staying too much in the cities you live in isn't healthy in the long run and you tend to forget Japan is not about its big cities but the beautiful gems nature has bestowed upon our land."**

I've never heard of such bullshit before. What a convenient excuse for you to get to Hokkaido just so you could get your hands on Otokoyama sake, you alcoholic!

Everyone in class is starting to either get excited or anxious about the news. I watch as Hayama's clique is happily chatting about it, Yuigahama being the most reserved of the group about the topic. Figures. Her dear Yukinon won't be participating.

Hayama being the most enthusiastic person of the microcosm is surprising to say the least. It leaves me speechless as I can't understand what this guy can be so happy for. He's just the guy trying to please everyone and who discards his own agenda for it, right? Oh well, I have no time to think about my nemesis anyway. There are more pressing matters right now.

Yukinoshita. The thought of leaving her here somehow makes me feel uneasy. I'm still not happy with the way things presently are, but more importantly, I don't know which cards I could play now. This trip will definitely not help. Us being together at a school trip, far away from Yukinoshita, with the worst timing possible is an event I would have gladly passed on.

I guess Yuigahama is thinking the same, thus her anxious expression, but for different reasons. She probably wants to solidify the current situation even further, pushing the nail into it so that it couldn't be removed anymore.

If I think about it from this position, this actually isn't a bad situation. Yuigahama can't do that, and even if Yukinoshita being left alone isn't good in any way, it'll at least make her maybe reconsider accepting these conditions. If anything, the trip will grant me time to think about a solution and to gather enough courage to act on it. This perspective is brighter than the previous one, but it doesn't erase it nonetheless; my feelings about this are mixed, and I only want to get out of class as soon as possible in order to get them sorted out.

Komachi being troubled is also a source of my current inner struggle, but I intend to go through a much needed conversation when I get back home.

* * *

 _This is the first chapter, I hope it may spark interest in some of you. I'll be looking out for eventual reviews, I want to improve after all. Thank you for reading if you could bear with me until the end! And sorry if you didn't and just skipped through to the end. Go check out_ Kurosu No.19 _or_ diceWW _if you didn't already, they have cool stories. There are more talented authors too but these two came to mind right now._


	2. Double-edged love

_This chapter will be heavily focused on Komachi and Hachiman. Hachiman's own troubles concerning the Service Club will be for later._

 _I thank you a lot for the follows, favs & reviews, this will help me believe more in myself and keep on writing. I also thank those who read without doing any of those of course, knowing I had people reading my "work" is really making me happy._

 _Now, by all means, go ahead and read chapter 2!_

* * *

As I'm heading home from school, I notice Yuigahama watching from the building through the window. I explained to both of them I'd excuse myself from club activities today as I need to solve what's going on with Komachi and ask my family if I can be spared from Hiratsuka-sensei's driving. Yukinoshita permitted it, but couldn't hide away that sad glint her eyes had at the time. I know it's not merely born from me not attending at the service club, I'm not _that_ stupid. I'm an indecisive idiot at times, but all these years of observing people didn't betray me when it happened. She dismissed me right away, as if to hide the fact, which kind of sparked a faint but painful feeling within me. In the end, I am _that_ unreliable to the Ice Queen of Sobu High. If something bothers her, she just discards the thought of asking for my help… again. Like we're strangers, like last year didn't happen at all.

Deep in thought, I'm riding my bike on the bridge I'm crossing every day when I go to school; my gaze wanders on my side to the city lights, reflected on the surface of the river. It's as if my body keeps moving without my soul within it. Why do I feel like this? Because I'm-…

 ** _…!_**

I dodge a braking car right in front of me just in time as I'm snapping out of my dizziness. I have no right to blame Yukinoshita. I'm the one who let her down. This is as obvious as the sun rises east: she wanted me to say my part back then. She didn't want me to let Yuigahama dictate the way we have to be with each other, and… I didn't.

I'm an idiot.

I feel like I always fail when it truly counts, especially when it's about important people. I slightly shiver, my heavy clothing seemingly not enough to shield me from the icy wind blowing at this time of the year and of the day. This is what my consciousness needed to fully regain its capacity. Now that I feel completely out of that pensive state, I focus on the road and the rest of the trip back home, barely holding myself from thinking too much about this again. It's time to put this matter aside for the moment and salvage as much energy as I can for my talk with Komachi. I may have failed Yukinoshita, but I'll still try to not let my sister down. If I can't even save my own family, I'd be the worst kind of person, the kind that I hate with every fiber of my being.

After a few minutes, I finally reach my home. I notice the lights are out from outside, meaning Komachi is already back. That's one more thing I find strange lately, now that I think about it. When I come back from school, it's after club hours and I often found myself coming home before her. Nowadays she's always back before me, and today as well even though I didn't even go to the club activities. I park my bike in the yard before getting my cold hands on the keys of our house.

My breath lets out small clouds of vapor as I'm unlocking the front door, and quickly open it to take shelter from the cold I've been in for what feels like far too long. I decide to announce myself to the only other resident currently present, in case she's too distracted.

 **"I'm home."**

Silence greets me, welcoming me back home. I already miss seeing my energetic little sister coming down the stairs, the rare times she made it here before me. I head for the living room, but she's not there despite the lights being on. That girl… did she run to her bedroom when she heard me park the bike outside?

Good grief… Who does she think I am? I'm not here to punish her or anything.

 **"Komachi, come out or I'm the one coming to you."**

I still need to push the right buttons though. It looks like if I'm not the one taking the lead, she won't confess her troubles, contrary to what she usually does. This is another reason why I'm feeling uneasy about the situation.

Reaching for Komachi's room, I firmly knock two times.

 **"Oi. Answer me already. I'm coming in."**

As silent as ever, she opts not to reply at all. I turn the doorknob but find myself unable to open the door.

Oh you…!

Time to use my trump card.

 **"That's enough Komachi, I'm going to call Mom if you keep this up."**

 **"…-ave … one."**

 **"What did you say?"**

 **"Leave me alone!"**

Whoa. I lightly widen my eyes, surprised by her sudden outburst. I'll expose the situation and see what comes out of it.

 **"I will, by next week at least. I'll be gone for a few days, we have a school trip to Hokkaido coming. I want to talk to you before that."**

I hear some noise in her room, but no response whatsoever.

 **"Listen, I don't know what's going on but you must have something pretty heavy on your mind for you to act so out of character. Is it so wrong for your brother to worry over you?"**

I feel a bit awkward for talking… to a door, outside the room but screw that. No one's here anyway. Now, which string should I pull to get a reaction out of Komachi. A constructive one, that is.

 **"You can't do anything about it. I DON'T want YOU to be concerned about it."**

Her words cut right through me, for various reasons. Yukinoshita is one thing, but to hear my sister say this to me is…

 **"I… No. You can't arbitrarily decide if I can do something or not. You're the only one who has a grasp of the situation, this is your opinion, but let me be the judge of that. Tell me what's up. Mom is going to have a seizure if she sees you acting like this."**

 **"Don't bring Mom into it… I'll just be ok when I get downstairs for dinner…"**

She's mumbling at this point and I need to put my ear to the surface of the door to hear what she utters.

 **"I thought you to be… dealing with situations in a smarter way than this. I guess this is a one way relationship we have. You can just barge right in my matters and say whatever you want, but I can't. Is that it?"**

I'm starting to get a bit irritated. Not necessarily at Komachi herself, but at the several struggles I'm encountering lately. My dream of a quiescent life is getting further and further away from me. I want to solve these problems as soon as possible before I lose grasp of it.

 **"Onii-chan, you're making this harder by involving yourself with me. I'll be okay, really… Just don't have anything to do with me, please. Focus on your coming trip, and have a good time."**

Oh no, you don't.

 **"Don't talk like you're going to ignore me for a whole week before I leave for Hokkaido, because it won't be happening whether you like it or not. If I have to, I'll gladly get punched by Hiratsuka-sensei but I'll get it out of you even if I have to pass on the trip. And you can bet I'm going to tell Mom by then."**

I hear some footsteps inside and a clicking noise close to my position, before seeing the door slowly open. I catch a glimpse of Komachi in the resulting interstice created by that.

 **"Baka-onii."**

Her grumbling is so cute I could nearly forget what's going on and melt away. But this is an important matter and it's not the time to be fooling around.

 **"About damn time you open this door."**

I enter her room and give a flick to her forehead as light punishment for making me stand out there for so long. It's been some time since I've last been in there but nothing major changed. It has every property required to be designated as a room occupied by a teenage girl.

Everything. From the biggest mirror you can think of, to the cute plushies and furniture dominated by pink and blue colors. Her wardrobe is kept in order; her clothes sorted out by season and type. The bed is neatly done, just as her desk is well organized. Is this wrong for me to feel proud when I see this?

 **"Now speak Komachi."**

I sit on her bed, ignoring her resenting look as I do so, and prompt her to talk. She reluctantly gets her chair in front of her desk and let herself fall onto it.

 **"It's just school stuff. Really, you have nothing to worry about. I'll feel better soon, it's just depressing to see… a friend of mine having problems and I can't do a thing about it."**

Something doesn't add up already. She's definitely lying about this to some degree, for what purpose… I do not know yet. Her habit of holding her clothes while doing so is just the proof I need to expose her.

 **"This situation doesn't warrant you speaking to me the way you did earlier. If it's about one of your friends at school, why does it matter that I absolutely do not get involved? You insisted pretty much on that point and from what I can hear so far, it makes no sense."**

Looks like I'm on point. Komachi begins to fidget on her chair, and mess with her hair with her index. You're a shrewd girl and you know how to mask your feelings. What makes it so you can't even do that right now?

 **"I-… I just want to take care of it by myself. You just worry about your own problems, onii-chan."**

 **"This is precisely one of them."**

She appears shocked to some extent by my instant reply. I don't think I've been that bad of a brother up until now for my sister to be so surprised at me caring for her. No, it shows on her face she genuinely feels surprised I didn't hesitate to consider her problems to be a cause for mine as well.

 **"Stop it, please don't pry into it!"**

She stands up from her chair as she says that in a louder voice. Why is she so adamant about this? Just as I'm thinking about what could be the reason behind it, I notice a torn page from her notebook slipping from her desk, resulting from the motion of Komachi standing up. I reach for it before she does, and her agitation as she tries to take it away from me doesn't escape my eye.

 **"Give it back! Give it baaaaack!"**

I stand up as well, moving my arm as many times as possible to keep the piece of paper out of range from hers. While doing so, I try to read what's written on it since it looks like a great deal to Komachi. This is me, her brother, invading her privacy in some way but to hell with it. Drastic measures are sometimes needed.

I can see _"You fucking creep"_ , _"Disgusting!"_ and _"Dirty girl"_ on it just before Komachi tackles me, sending the both of us crashing onto the bed. She finally gets the page out of my hand and tears it apart hysterically. I'm in shock as I watch her do that on top of me. Small droplets of salty water pearl in the corner of her eyes, threatening to roll down her cheeks at any second.

My little sister is bullied at school… as I suspected.

* * *

Ten minutes ago, I got Komachi to spill out the beans thanks to the lucky event of that paper falling to the ground. I finally get why she was being so aggressive and distant from this morning on. I'm currently laying down on my bed, thinking about all this and letting my sister get some needed rest after she dropped the act in front of me.

The bullying is centered on Komachi and her… overly enthusiastic opinion of me she apparently shares a lot with her friends. Basically this is how it went: she got confessed to by a guy from her class, a certain Iwata Hiroki. She naturally rejected him. After all, I didn't give my approbation of this little bas-... guy.

A girl named Terada Ayame is really into him. She's a blond haired girl loved by most of the teachers and students, a typical angelic figure you would think to never become a bully.

In other words, she's the perfect suspect.

Jealous that her love interest went for Komachi instead of her, she started to bully her by accusing her to be a bro-con just because she rejected Iwata and talks a lot about me. The boy then joined Terada in her bullying, probably out of frustration of being denied.

A perfect plan thought up by this girl who gets him closer to her that way and can work on her confession to come. She kills two… no, three birds with one stone; getting rid of Iwata's love interest and comforting him from being rejected, while injecting her venom called "love" into his veins at the same time.

Putting everything I heard together, I finally get the whole picture.

Why Komachi didn't want to talk to me at all, why she was aggressive towards me even though I wasn't actively at fault, and why she didn't want me to pry into this; I'm the chess piece used by the bullies to put her into a checkmate position. I can't blame her for reacting the way she did, and I can at least understand why she wanted to hide it from me.

My little sister is too kind for her own good.

She'd rather suffer alone than telling me I'm basically the one being used to hurt her. If it was anything or anyone else used against her, she'd probably just get up to their faces and confront them directly. When it comes to me… it seems like she draws a blank.

She doesn't want to accept the fact that her affection towards me is wrong, but if she were to defend her point, she feels like she would admit theirs to be an opposite but valid one too.

This is the one thing Komachi wants to deny, by enduring all of it.

And this is the one thing I don't want her to go through.

I don't want her to go to class in the morning, seeing on the chalkboard "Hikigaya will marry her onii-chan" while hearing classmates laughing in the back. I don't want her to read hateful words on her school books when she takes them out of her desk. I don't want her to be isolated because they started to target everyone she's close to.

As a matter of fact, this situation still going on is purely relying on Komachi. Her strong personality is more than enough to put an end to this, she just has to voice her opinion. Who cares about what they think of the two of us being close siblings? It's not like we're doing anything wrong, and if they want to assume that, let them.

She knows that better than anyone.

All she has to do is stand up for herself, her friends and her belief; she does not need to care about me or our relationship. Nor will the first neither the second ever change because of this.

Then again, who am I kidding, uh? If I were to take this to another context, I should probably make use of this myself to put a stop to Yuigahama's plan. I'm the eldest but what I'm doing is plain stupid compared to the ordeal Komachi is facing.

We may be both suffering to some degree but there is a difference between us. One is a prideful sibling, enduring hardships for her belief and her brother's sake while the other is a coward, not even able to make a step forward for the balance to tip further.

And for me to have knowledge of that is nothing short of infuriating.

* * *

Dinner went by without trouble. Mom saw nothing… or at least I'd like to think so. She talked to my sister as usual, asking her how was her day and telling her about her own. Needless to say I didn't pay any attention to that, once I've made sure nothing fishy was happening. I had other things to think of.

Before going to bed, I've decided I have to pay a visit to Komachi again. Putting my own shortcomings aside for the moment, I have to convince her to stand for herself in that situation. This is the only thing I can do, since she's not in Sobu High yet. I can't just storm in her middle school and make any sort of claim I could think of.

It won't be long before she joins high school, and I want her to settle this before then. I know she wants this herself, deep within. No way would Komachi ever let something like this go unsettled. She just needs a push in the right direction, and I'm the one who should give it to her.

By pure process of logic and no ego implied in making this statement, Hikigaya Hachiman is the part of the equation which should be considered as the deciding factor in this.

I softly knock on her door.

 **"Komachi, I need to talk to you for a second."**

 **"Come in, onii-chan. It's open."**

Having heard her reply and approval, I allow myself in for the second time today. Komachi is laying on her back, reading some shoujo manga from what I see on the cover of the volume. _"Dengeki Daisy"_ is a famous title in the genre, even if I do not read those I still heard about it.

I make my way to her desk and sit on the chair this time.

 **"Ne, onii-chan."**

I look at her but she isn't looking at me. Her face is hidden by her opened manga volume.

 **"Mh?"**

 **"Thank you."**

I don't expect you to thank me for something I have yet to do, little sister of mine. I can feel myself smirking as I just think of a good way to answer that.

 **"Oooh. Thanking me, uh.** **I see you can be at least _that_ useful."**

I literally quote what she said to me this morning, and it has the effect I did expect this time. Way to go, me!

I'm the best.

She flinches and stops reading for a moment.

 **" _Geh…_ Did you just come to rub on my face everything I did wrong…?"**

She sighs before continuing.

 **"I know what you want to say, onii-chan. I know why you came here, don't worry I will just… do it. I promise."**

Komachi puts her manga down next to her and supporting herself on her elbows, raised herself up to look straight at me. I can see her genuine intent and resolve in her eyes, but mostly in the way she speaks.

 **"I guess I didn't need to bother you then. I underestimated you, maybe. I just wanted to drop by in case you needed a little boost of confidence."**

And this is the absolute truth. I'm hiding it right now, as much as I possibly can, but I truly underestimated my sister's mental resilience and recovery. If just forcing her shell and act to break was enough of a catalyst for Komachi to fight back… she's one hell of a strong girl, way stronger than I originally thought. I'm kind of ashamed of myself.

 **"You know… um… I'm sorry for everything I said and done. You didn't deserve any of it."**

Looking at her, blushing and avoiding my gaze, I feel the need to protect her for her whole life. Screw her future husband, I'll take care of it!

Just kidding. In the end, I really want Komachi to have a happy life.

I'll just have to make sure she has proper candidates for marriage.

 **"Don't worry about that. I know now why you were so frustrated and angry at… ultimately… yourself. Regardless of that, I will always be your onii-chan. Nothing anyone can say, nothing you can do either will change this."**

She looks at me with a slightly disgusted expression. I know she's back to her good old self.

 **"Uh… can you refrain from saying things like that though. I don't mind getting some points off for saying that too."**

 **"My sister never loses points. She merely hides them for a surprise effect later on."**

Komachi laughs at what I just said, wholeheartedly. It makes any joke totally worth it.

Welcome back, _imouto_.

I missed you.

I smile at the sight and stand up.

 **"Alright, that wraps it up I guess. Good night Komachi. I'm proud of you, really."**

My back turned to her, I'm walking in the direction of the door to exit the room before I feel myself forcefully stopped by a pair of arms wrapped around my torso. Surprised, I feel Komachi hugging me from behind, her forehead connected to my back. I then hear her whisper something.

 **"Good night, onii-chan. Thank you for everything."**

Life is bitter, so coffee at least should be sweet.

And my little sister, even sweeter.

* * *

 _Alright, next time we go back to Service Club matters. I hope the Komachi/Hachiman chapter didn't bother you too much, I really wanted to have one in there._

 _As always, thank you for reading._


	3. Mysterious mischief

_Hey everyone, hope you're doing great today._

 _I'll as always thank all of you who read this story of mine, I'm really hoping you have a good time._

 _I'll take some space here to answer a few reviews sometimes, so here goes:_

 _BlackPsych : Your review really made my day when I read it. I was so happy, you have no idea! I really love family-friendly content related to Komachi and Hachiman, and I find them so cute simply as they are. As siblings. Their relationship is beautiful, and may them be blessed, as fictional as they are! Thank you very much for your kind words BlackPsych and please look forward to the rest of the story._

 _jminator : Sorry to break your hopes about Komachi and Hachiman having romantic interest for each other! It won't be happening here. I thank you for your kindness, jminator._

 _Anonymous (Omg why doe) : You will know, in due time. Thanks for reading my fiction!_

* * *

Are you familiar with the fear of heights? It's something called acrophobia and it's etched so deep within, you can't fight it on your own. You can link it to a primal, instinctive fear that stops you from taking one step closer to the edge, as if you would really fall because of this one supplementary step. When it happens, you also feel a knot in your stomach, to the point of physical pain.

I'm standing in front of the Service Club's door, and I, Hikigaya Hachiman, feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. I know this is kind of stupid for me to be feeling that way, my reasoning keeps telling me why I shouldn't, and yet I still do.

Steeling my resolve, I open the door without knocking and enter the classroom.

The same year old scenery, of Yukinoshita reading her book with Yuigahama happily chatting with her, greets me. A view which makes me both anxious and scared, a result of my inaptitude to stand up for what I think, in hindsight, was a mistake. Yuigahama's wish for stillness can only bring us to an inevitable and endless search for something we may never get a hold of.

And I, powerless from my position, can't seem to find a solution which could turn things around.

 **"** **Yo."**

Yukinoshita lightly smiles at me, while Yuigahama's closer to a full-on beaming smile.

 **"** **Hikki! You didn't skip today!"**

 **"** **Of course not. Who do you take me for? If I said I had a reason yesterday, I truly had one."**

Yukinoshita smirks at my answer, ready to deliver one of her classic retorts.

 **"** **I see that even a man like Hikigaya-kun has some sense of duty. This is a pleasant surprise, the key word being surprise."**

 **"** **I could say the same about you actually complimenting me. Are we inhabitants of planet Earth facing some impending doom?"**

I notice Yuigahama frowning as I reply to the Ice Queen.

 **"** **You're so mean! Yukinon is a really nice girl, you're just too dense to see it!"**

 **"** **Why would you be more qualified to see me as I truly am, Yuigahama-san?"**

Ouch. The burn is real with this one, Yukinoshita. Even I will start to feel sorry for Yuigahama. Please apologize to her this instant, she'll cry.

 **"** **Eeeeeh?! But I'm like totally closer to you than he is…! And we're best friends, right?! Right?!"**

Smiling at the same antics I'm used to see from the both of them… makes me feel uneasy. This is like some kind of manufactured artificial happiness, far from the ideal of the genuine thing I'm looking for.

And yet here I am, unable to put an end to this.

 **"** **I suppose Yuigahama already told you about our absence for next week."**

Yukinoshita is still trying to stop Yuigahama from getting any closer to her but throws a sideway glance at me after I'm finished talking.

 **"** **She did yesterday. Don't worry about it, I'm more than enough to take care of things here. Just focus on your trip and enjoy your stay there."**

...

This is the same.

 _"_ _Onii-chan, you're making this harder by involving yourself with me. I'll be okay, really… Just don't have anything to do with me, please. Focus on your coming trip, and have a good time."_

The tone shift, the way she avoids my eyes like she doesn't want to speak these words, everything is just the same as what Komachi tried to do with me.

...

I hate this.

 **"** **I'll miss you so much Yukinon! But I promise I'll text you and I'll definitely bring back souvenirs!"**

Yuigahama enthusiastically claims so, before turning around to face me.

 **"** **And Hikki too! Right?"**

 _Gulp._

What's up with this gaze, Yuigahama- _san_? Are you sure you don't want to skewer me with your look?

 **"** **Yeah. I won't text you but I can at least buy a souvenir, um… if that's ok with you."**

The slender black haired girl in front of me seems embarrassed for a second, a light blush rising on her fair cheeks. With a soft cough, she regains her composure before answering.

 **"** **I shall accept your gesture, Hikigaya-kun. I guess it won't hurt me, unless you decide to get a cursed item destined to bring misfortune upon my person. I'll count on you, Yuigahama-san. Make sure he doesn't, would you?"**

Yuigahama clenches her fists and rises them up in the air.

 **"** **Leave it to me, Yukinon! Nothing ill-natured should get past my vigilance!"**

My eyes widen as I witness Yuigahama Yui pronounce words way past her usual register. It doesn't go unnoticed, as I receive a sharp glare from my classmate.

 **"** **You thought of something really rude about me, didn't you Hikki?"**

 **"** **I-I don't see what you mean by that, Yuigahama-** ** _san."_**

I don't want to burn myself on the sometimes intense and fiery Yuigahama Yui, nope.

Not happening.

 **"** **Anyways, you'll get to work on Isshiki-san's request before you leave. This is not negotiable."**

Yukinoshita's statement is firm and decisive; she makes it so any kind of contestation is not feasible. I growl a bit at this but concede.

 **"** **Sure, I wasn't going to skip on that either."**

 **"** **Isshiki-san requested more specifically for your help in this matter, yesterday. You'll get the details when she gets there."**

Wait… isn't it weird? Why is the client who comes for help, also the one who formulates the plan? We are the ones usually coming up with it.

 **"** **It spares me the effort of thinking of a solution, I guess. I'll take it."**

We go back to our occupations within the classroom, mainly reading and chatting the time away, as we wait for Isshiki to come to the club. After what feels like an hour or so, I check my phone and see it's about time to actually get back home. I bet that sly fox will storm in the second we get to close the clubroom.

My prediction doesn't come to pass as I get outside the classroom and bid the airhead and club president goodbye. Did something happen to Isshiki? No, she probably just forgot about it. Come on, it's not like that girl actually is troubled over the confession of some random guy. She may just come tomorrow and say " _Oh, forget about the request, I dealt with it already, teehee!"_ while smiling. And I couldn't be any happier if it actually happens.

But as always, reality just has to kick my nuts every time. Looking up to the iron portal by the entrance of our school, I see Isshiki standing next to it. Her mischievous grin lets me in on the fact that she is as excited as ever.

 **"** **Senpai! You're sooooo laaaaate! I was just about to leave!"**

Yeah, right. You were totally not lying in wait for me here.

 **"** **That's my line, Isshiki. We were waiting for you at the club, that's why we closed as late as we possibly could. I should be the one complaining here."**

She adopts a smug look on her face, a playful glint appearing in her eyes.

 **"** **It is my privilege as their superior to keep the masses waiting."**

Ugh. A light novel reference now...

 **"** **Please spare me your snarky comments. The others shoul-… Oi!"**

Isshiki just grabs my wrist and pulls me along as she exits the school grounds.

 **"** **We don't need the others, you just need to come with me Senpai!"**

By everything that is holy and sacred… so mainly Komachi and Totsuka, what does this girl plan to do with me again?!

* * *

Let me fill you in about this situation right now. I'm at a family restaurant, sitting on a couch with a girl on my right side, and facing a boy across the table. We all ordered a drink a while ago so the waitress is back with our glasses which are given to us this very moment.

Oh I forgot one little thing.

No, one could describe that thing as the biggest event of my life so far.

Hikigaya Hachiman, the pessimistic loner probably holding a world record when it comes to how bad he is in his social skills with girls, has now a kouhai as his girlfriend.

How is that?! Nobody saw that one coming, uh?

Take that, Hikigaya haters!

…

What the **fuck** does this **idiot** think she's doing?

 **"** **Yes, as I was saying since it looks like you didn't understand, this is Hikigaya Hachiman. He's my current boyfriend. We love each other very much, right Hachi'?"**

Isshiki is sticking to me like glue, her head resting on my right shoulder. I'm doing my very best not to push her away with everything I have. This is imposed to me without prior notice, and I know I can't screw up now or it'll never end. This girl had everything planned in her head before she even came to the club for her request! She knew that by forcing this situation on me, I wouldn't be able to get out of it. If Isshiki talked to me about it beforehand, I would have definitely backed out and found out another solution.

 **"** **No way… No freakin' way, Iroha-chan! T-T-…THIS?!"**

Oi. Do you know the concept of respecting your senpai, impertinent brat? I'm going to punch you, you hear me?

Well, no he doesn't.

The boy's name is Kimura Souji. He's Isshiki's classmate, the one who confessed to her. If I have to physically describe him, I can only think of one thing: Little Hayama. He's his spitting image even though his personality is nowhere near the original. From what I've heard, courtesy of Yukinoshita, he's a self-absorbed prick with an ego inflated to new levels that had yet to be transcended.

 **"** **W-wait a minute! I'm way better than Hikichiya-senpai, I'm athletic and good looking! I have good fashion sense too!"**

Who the hell is Hikichiya?! Don't you go full Tobe on me, kid.

 **"** **Oi, there's a limit to how impertinent you can get,** ** _kouhai_** **-** ** _kun_** **."**

I put the palm of my hand on the table. Speaking with a harsh tone, I also stress the last word and now am trying to look as intimidating as I can, with one of my 108 skills you already got introduced to, and used by my dear sister. It is the Hikigaya Death Glare. This is an ability that comes with a condition and a price.

After all, you have to possess the legendary dead fish eyes trait. If you couple that with the best scowl you can perform, and a life of bitter loneliness you experienced for years to make it feel real…

The result is flawless.

The kid is scared shitless.

 **"** **I-I didn't know you were into… the delinquent type, Iroha-chan…"**

She just beams a smile at him, fully enjoying the role-play.

 **"** **Heehee. Hachi' can be pretty mean with those who get too close to me, y'know…? That's what I like about him… He's so… intense…"**

She stares at me while saying that, with a dreamy smile this time.

This makes me very uncomfortable. She's too good of an actress! Even I start to feel my heart rate rise up like crazy. Heart, calm down, geez.

I know, let's make a chant!

It's all fake, it's all fake, it's all fake, it's all fake…!

 **"** **E-Even so…! I don't buy it!"**

What are you looking all defiant for, now? You should just let it go and give up, don't waste my time!

He goes on.

 **"** **Without proof, I won't believe it. Prove it, Iroha-chan."**

That's it. I want to kill him, right here, right now. Please let me do it.

As I'm thinking of a multitude of ways to murder this annoying brat, I feel a soft touch on my right hand, something resembling a feather caressing the surface of my skin. It makes me shudder, to my very core. My arms show signs of having goosebumps all over from this feeling alone. Lowering my slanted eyes to my hand to witness what's the cause of this, I watch as Isshiki's own hand is lightly, slowly overlapping mine. Her light brown eyes mesmerize me, as they seem like an ocean of honey at this moment.

Damn it… I… I can't help it!

My being longs for it. I dive right in, plunging in this depth Isshiki's eyes present to me, losing myself in this time belonging only to the two of us… as if it just suspended.

 **"** **S-Senpai…"**

Her whisper is just like her soft, smooth hand and…

Wait.

What did she call me…?

 **"** **Issh…"**

I stop myself from saying it. I have to pursue the mission, with the little logic I have left in me right now.

 **"** **Iroha…"**

I try to sound as sensual as I can, never departing from her honey eyes, never disengaging the ballad our gazes have been into for the last few seconds, which felt like way, way more than that short span of time. Isshiki's blush intensifies as she hears me say that. I don't even know if I'm not currently blushing myself. This moment, this performance she is making an act of... feels... too genuine. To a point it can be called nothing but a sin.

For making me feel that way, Isshiki Iroha, I condemn you.

She is slowly closing her eyelids, while ever so slightly raising her head and her lips towards mine. My heart is going to stop. It really will...

I'm about to lose control of everything. I can sense it. My reason is at its wits end and something else is about to take over, dangerously crawling, creeping inside.

We are inches apart from each other. I can feel her hot breath on my mouth, her hand faintly shaking before she decides to fully capture mine with it. We're about to close it in, attracted to each other as if an invisible force was at work there. Just before our lips connect, I catch a shining glint: two small tears spring at the corner of her soon to be closed eyes.

My god-knows-what-driven self is instantly disappearing.

I can't... We can't do this. This isn't right.

I wouldn't feel at peace with myself. I don't want Isshiki to feel like that as well.

There's a limit we shouldn't cross, even for the sake of the plan.

 **"** **Stop it… I understand."**

I was about to put my hands over Isshiki's shoulders to put a halt to our moment but that Kimura brat does it for me.

He sounded very serious, and less rude than before.

 **"** **I can't compete with you, Hikichiya-senpai. I... will give up on you, Iroha-chan. It will take time, but I realize now that I will never be able to inspire such an expression on your face. I'm sorry for being so persistent. Excuse me."**

He places on the table enough to cover his bill, takes his jacket and bows before quickly leaving.

Well even if Kimura blabs about this happening, he'll speak about the mysterious delinquent called Hikichiya who doesn't exist in Sobu High, or anywhere else to be honest. I watch as the main entrance closes after his disappearance.

Now...

It's just the two of us alone.

I am so embarrassed I wish I could crawl into a hole.

I decide to take the lead though and put an end to this awkward silence by clearing my throat.

 **"** **Well I guess it all worked out in the end."**

I cast a side glance to my partner in crime whose head is hanging down, face covered by her natural brown hair.

 **"** **Senpai…"**

I gulp, anxious as all hell.

 **"** **Can I ask you to leave…?"**

Uh...?

Eh...?

What...?

 **"** **Wait but we're far from-…"**

...

 **"** **SENPAI!"**

She just... yelled. Everyone in the restaurant around us turn their heads towards the source of the outburst, whether they be waiters, waitresses or clients.

Yeah this might be bad. I'd better listen to her before we start causing an even bigger commotion.

 **"** **I'm sorry, Isshiki. I'll leave. I'll also pay for the both of us so…"**

It was the least I could do, since...

Yeah.

Leaving the money on the table, I grab my school bag and coat. Putting it on to protect me from the cold waiting for me outside, I look at Isshiki's crestfallen face one last time for a few seconds before exiting the establishment.

I'd like to correct one thing about beings I used to be speaking of as deities.

The rom-com gods aren't gods.

They are malicious demons.

* * *

 _Aaaand... this happened._

 _As always, I thank all of you for reading up til now._

 _Please stay awesome and have a good day/night, wherever you are._


	4. Scary understanding

_Hello everyone, new update today as well._

 _I'm dead tired, it's 1:03am as I finish typing it. There might be more mistakes than usual, please excuse me.  
_

 _I know, that's no one's problem haha. But I'll probably slow down on the updates if I feel exhausted tomorrow as well.  
_

 _Following this is the chapter, I hope you enjoy it._

* * *

I can't think at all. I'm too confused and my head cannot follow the surge of overwhelming feelings invading me since I left the restaurant. As a proof of this happening, I took the wrong line in the railway station earlier. I just mindlessly walked into a train on the Narita line instead of the Sobu line. It's getting very late by now since I basically went the opposite way of where my home is, for more than an hour and a half.

My phone vibrates.

A text message, I suppose.

" ** _Onii-chan, are you okay?_** "

Eh, count on Komachi to worry over me more than Mom does. I quickly type a short response to it and close the phone before putting it back in my pocket.

" ** _Wrong line, coming home asap._** "

I'm starting to regret things again; giving in to temptation, for example. I may be a healthy seventeen years old boy, full of hormones and everything, I still am Hikigaya Hachiman before all else. I shouldn't have let this go as far as it did. I'm the one who should have put a stop it, neither that kid nor Isshiki. Seeing her depressed face before leaving completely sealed the deal. I really am the worst, aren't I?

I'm now halfway done with the trip back home, extended as it is. There are not many people using the Sobu line at this time of the day so the train is pretty quiet. Passively watching the scenery through the glass, I rest my chin into my hand and try to empty my thoughts as much as I can before getting bored out of my mind. I decide to take my phone and send a text to my sister.

" ** _I'll be there in about twenty minutes. How was school?_** "

After a minute, I receive a reply. My eyes swiftly scan the screen to get the content of the message.

" ** _I know_** **_you're bored. I won't keep you company if you merely try to look like you're interested in my day. Baka._** "

I sigh, before my cellphone vibrates once more.

" ** _It was the same as before. I'm just taking measures for this to stop completely soon. It's just a matter of time. I'm not letting this ruin my day or night, honest._** **_I have to make you proud of me after all._** "

Mh. She seems like she has everything under control. I smile a bit at that last part though.

" ** _I'll admit that if you do solve the situation like you said you would, this will earn you many Komachi points. Your brother is already proud of you._** "

" ** _Real talk. How did you end up taking the train in the first place? What about your bike? And you mistaking the line to take is really a scary thing I couldn't think possible, onii-chan._** "

This is where Komachi's instincts, mixed with her just being a smart girl in general, kick in and are downright scary. I'm willing to bet she sensed it was something regarding a girl.

" ** _I_** **_had to do something for the club. We had to meet at some place and on the way back, I was inattentive._** "

Let's see what comes out of this.

" ** _You wouldn't panic if it concerned Yui-san or Yukino-san. It goes without saying Haruno-san would scare you so much you'd have run straight back home. So I take it something happened with Isshiki-san?_** "

How does she… Oh yeah. She does know of her. That meeting we had with Kawasaki, Totsuka, Zaimokuza, and Komachi about stopping Yukinoshita and Yuigahama from running in the Student Council president election… I completely forgot about that, but STILL!

My little sister sure is scary.

" ** _Yeah. I can't hide anything from someone who lived fifteen years by my side I guess. I'll be home in a few minutes, the train is stopping._** "

My train finally reaches its final station, the one I need to get off to. I put away my phone, get on the platform to exit the station and walk back home. A biting cold assaults me as I left the comfort of a heated train. Better make sure I walk fast enough not to fall ill.

Arriving home, I have the pleasure to see Komachi prepared a warm bath and dinner for me. I gladly indulge in both, warming myself up. When I'm done, I give my sincere thanks to her. She asks me if I want to talk about what happened. I decline. I'm glad to see she doesn't push me further but instead wishes me a good night, advising me to get some rest. I do the same and get into my bedroom.

Now, Hikigaya Hachiman, how will you find sleep as you face your inner demons? One thing is certain in this case: I can't let this go on. I really need to talk to Isshiki, as soon as possible. It would be great if it could happen tomorrow. This is entirely different than the situation I'm facing at the Service club; I know during that moment, there was something there. Something concrete, real was going on.

What confuses me is not what I felt coming from her, but from me. I don't know what stirred me up like this. I wouldn't get this agitated if nothing was happening on my side of things: there was an element which triggered what tried to completely take over my reasoning and use of logic. An element that I know of, generally speaking, but am not too acquainted with or rather… that I am scared of.

Confusion, incomprehension, naivety, cowardice, anxiety, regrets, everything is mixing and to say I'm at a loss would be an understatement.

I try to picture the image of Isshiki's face in my head. The different expressions she makes, like when she has that smirk if she's about to tease me, these overly sweet eyes when she asks something of me or when she just genuinely smiles, simply from being happy. I can feel my cheeks moving as a smile of my own invites itself on my face.

A flash of her sorrowful figure goes through my mind for a second. There goes my smile. I grab my shirt, as if some kind of pain struck me in the chest. After a short contemplation, it comes to me that it's not a semblance of pain.

I'm truly hurt.

And Isshiki must be hurting even more.

Needless to say my share of sleep for the night was close to none. I merely passed out from exhaustion after two hours of introspection, and from then on woke up every hour or so. I think I'd have been better not sleeping at all than sleeping by intermittence. My fatigue doesn't go unnoticed when I pass by Komachi this morning.

 **"** **Ohayo, onii-chan. You look… stunning, in more ways than one."**

 **"** **Yo. Please Komachi, I'll gladly pass on the sarcasm today."**

She just lightly laughs, poking me in the sides with her elbow.

 **"** **This time I prepared everything you need so enjoy yourself. I'm going to take my shower. Don't forget to properly close the door if you leave before me!"**

My sister cooked quite the feast this morning. The perspective of a good breakfast waiting for me is somewhat enough to clear my thoughts for the moment. I take place on my chair and begin eating, as I switch on the TV screen to watch the news. I'd rather hear about other people's miseries than brooding over mine, for once.

Komachi really pulled out all the stops today; she wasn't lying when she told me to enjoy myself. There's the usual steamed rice and miso soup with a plate of yakizakana. She knows horse mackerel is my favorite and I naturally find it on the table, next to some nori. I'm not lazing around though, quickly maneuvering my chopsticks on each plate and bowl to get my nutrients.

Once I'm done, I let the TV on and put my dishes in the sink without cleaning them. I'm already a bit behind schedule because of a slightly fancier than usual breakfast, I will let her do it. I'll clean the dishes tonight or something in exchange.

 **"** **I'm leaving."**

I mutter my daily expression as I cross her path while heading for the entryway. I put the palm of my hand on top of her wet head, gently stroking her hair.

 **"** **Have a nice day! Komachi will wait for your return tonight with the best smile you could ask for, onii-chan.** ** _Heehee_** **. I'm sure this is one the highest amount of Komachi points I scored lately!"**

She sure knows how to act around me, in all circumstances.

 **"** **You… don't overdo it, alright? You know what I'm talking about. See you tonight."**

I say this, hoping for my dear sister to be careful at her own school when she'll deal with her current problem there.

 **"** **Sure, you can count on me onii-chan!"**

She sends me off with a radiant smile, easing my worries in doing so.

* * *

During the first hour of class, I spent roughly ten minutes listening to our maths teacher. I will have you know that pondering on what to do to reach Isshiki takes everything a sleep deprived Hikigaya Hachiman can muster. We enter now the second hour which will be dedicated to some exercises from what I'm seeing around me. Every classmate is putting their notes away and bringing out their notebooks, a gesture I follow without question.

Yes, yes, I know Yuigahama, stop staring at me.

You've been way too obvious these past twenty minutes. It's like my back is heating and nearly scorching now, under your intense look of boundless curiosity. I'm sorry but you will have to forget about me spilling the beans. It won't be happening.

I'm drawing a blank now. My maths teacher watches me for an instant, probably trying to make sure I'm working on the exercise. I immediately act like I'm writing some formulas on my notebook but... excuse me sensei, I'm not thinking about your equations at all.

I arrived early to school this morning: I know for instance the student council gathers before class on Thursday, so I decided to drop by. I was half-surprised to hear that Isshiki was absent, from the members themselves. I hope she didn't stay too long after I left the restaurant and caught a cold because of it.

…

Who are you trying to convince, Hachiman? You know why she's not here today, damn it.

Clenching my left hand into a fist, I opt for the path I want the least to take.

I take out my phone, under the desk of course, and start typing a text message.

 ** _"_** ** _I need your assistance with something."_**

Once I'm done with it, I select the correct recipient.

 ** _"_** ** _Yukinoshita Haruno"_**

And finally press the send button, before actually working on my maths while waiting for a reply.

The bell indicates the time has come for lunch as well as the end of our maths class. Man, it's finally over. I was bored as hell after I quickly solved my equations. As of now, two hours have past and I'm still waiting for Yukinoshita Haruno's reply. Of course that woman wouldn't find it interesting to respond as soon as possible.

She's probably going to find an excuse along the lines of _"I'm so sorry, Hikigaya-kun, I was so busy with work! I really, really, reaaaaally wanted to text you but…"_ and I will have no choice but to accept it.

It's not like I have a time machine anyways.

As expected, Yuigahama instantly rushes towards me after she's done talking to her clique.

 **"** **Hikki, can we-…"**

 **"** **Sorry I have somewhere to be, in the line of club duty. I'll see you later Yuigahama."**

I interrupt her before she gets to say the obvious. I can't have her on board: piling problems is something I'd like to avoid at the moment.

I find myself unable to decipher the expression she wears just as I cut her short, and to be honest I have bigger fish to fry right now. I nod to her and allow myself out, taking my lunch box with me.

After making sure I've got enough layers of clothing to endure the low temperature outside, I immediately take the direction of my isolated spot. I meet a few students rushing to get their lunch boxes from the cafeteria with their friends, hurrying like their lives depend on it. I never understood this behavior and will soon graduate from high school without solving this mystery.

Speaking of graduation...

We have to take our entrance exams right after this improvised trip Hiratsuka-sensei came up with… It's a bit worrying when I think about it, but she isn't crazy enough to plan on having it like a week before these. As a matter of fact, we will have a month exactly before hitting the exams; it's plenty of time for someone like me. I dare you to underestimate my brains.

Komachi already passed hers and she's waiting for the results to become available in a couple of weeks, but I'm sure she'll be granted a spot in Sobu High. She's my sister after all, _hmpf_.

My phone suddenly vibrates once. Did she finally deem my request to be worthy of her precious time?

 ** _"_** ** _Call me, I'm always the one calling you!_** （●＞ω＜●） ** _"_**

Oh my god, please do not use this kind of emoji! You're a grown woman, remember? Don't go back to your teenage days!

I lost enough time as it is, I cut to the chase and call her number.

 **"** **Yahallo, Hikigaya-kun!"**

 **"** **Drop this stupid way of saying hello already. What took you so long?"**

 **"** **So rude. Am I your girlfriend or something? I have no obligation to answer you that quickly. I think you should be glad I actually considered answering at all! Just kidding! _Hahaha._ "**

Woman, don't get on my nerves more than you did the last time I saw you. You're irritating me to no end.

 **"** **My bad. So, I need you to-… I mean, I would like Yukinoshita-san to give me Isshiki's phone number."**

 **"** **Eeeeh… I see. Hikigaya-kun is bored of the never changing Yukino-chan and chases after Iroha-chan now. She's younger and cute as well, makes sense."**

 _Kh!_ What the hell is she…

 **"** **I see, I see! So this is the genuine you're after… This is surprising. I definitely would have thought Hikigaya-kun would sail through the storm to be, rather than taking a plane instead."**

 **"** **Oi, that's enough of your wild guesses-..."**

 **"** **May I perhaps ask which purpose will serve the use of this number then?"**

 **"** **Purely club related."**

Technically, this isn't a lie. It's a truth without its accompanying details.

 **"** **Couldn't you ask Yui-chan then? Why would you go through the trouble of contacting me?"**

This is precisely why this was my last resort, and why I didn't want to ask her. Yukinoshita Haruno is way too perceptive, almost resembling a being outside the boundaries of humanity. A being gifted with omniscience.

Or she simply has way too much time on her hands and likes to be nosy to the point of annoyance.

In doing so, she mastered the art and can now predict or guess pretty much anything.

 **"** **Because this is a private matter involving information Isshiki doesn't want to be known. She specifically requested my help, apart from Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. I want to put an end to the problem alone. For this, I can't rely on them either."**

 **"** **Mmmh… So this is what you come up with. It seems I won't get it out of you, but it's not too surprising to witness how dedicated you can be to the task. Alright you earned it, Hikigaya-kun. I'll send you her number, but I have one condition."**

I knew it. Of course there is some kind of trade involved when you speak to a Yukinoshita and it's even more the case when you know how shrew Haruno is.

I groan a bit.

 **"** **Let's hear it."**

 **"** **I want you to send me your conversation with her and see for myself what it truly is about. You have no problem with that, right? It's only club business after all. There isn't something interesting at all for me to see… I promise this is only for me, I won't be sharing this with anyone else."**

W-What in the world...?

 **"** **Are you serious…? This can be assimilated to a crime you know."**

 **"** **How preposterous! This is simply Hikigaya-kun sending me text messages! There'll be nothing forcibly taken off from anyone! And it's not like our construction company isn't close to the biggest telephone operator in Japan,** ** _heehee_** **."**

Now that would REALLY become a crime if you were to pull that off! And knowing her, she'd probably succeed without ever getting caught out, stalking me whenever she wants.

No, thank you.

 **"** **Then you do that. If you're willing to go that low for your entertainment, I won't stop you from committing crimes. You're an adult, I have no say in what you do. I also won't send you anything. This is disgusting to do, even for someone like me. I have my principles and I don't want to tarnish them for the sake of your recreation. I will never divulge Isshiki's privacy to anyone."**

And neither will I share mine, since it also concerns me directly.

This pinch I am in makes the cogs in my head turn faster. I got to find another solution, another option. There's got to be one.

Maybe...

I can maybe get her number from Tobe or Hayama. She is the soccer club manager, and she hangs out with both of them sometimes. I have my doubts for Tobe, but Hayama has it for sure. And he'll probably accept my request for secrecy.

I'm an idiot... and I obviously didn't have enough sleep.

I should have gone for them first.

Now Yukinoshita Haruno knows something she shouldn't have known and I'm sure she will keep on digging into this.

I hear her speak again, giving a delayed response to what I previously said.

 **"** **I'm joking, Hikigaya-kun. The Yukinoshita company has no ties to any telephone operator, and as interesting as something may be, I wouldn't endanger my position, my family or our company anyway. You're so silly~! It was worth it though. Your reaction was pretty entertaining. I have to go now, don't worry about it. Onee-san will still send you what you need. See ya~"**

 **"…** **bye."**

Yukinoshita Haruno likes to be the one in control of the situation. If anything, I don't let her have the pleasure of hanging up the phone. I end the call myself, and put my phone back to my pocket.

What a dangerous and annoying person she is. I don't want to deal with her anymore and I pity Yukinoshita Yukino being that woman's little sister even more than before. I can only imagine getting teased so much. Irritation is too shallow of a word to describe what I feel as the call just ended.

I deeply sigh.

I guess I'd better get back to class now.

I get back up, clearing any dust still clinging to the fabric of my pants with both of my hands, as I was resting on the cold stairs during our whole conversation.

Turning towards the school building, I notice someone standing there. Someone I just thought of, a few seconds ago.

What a coincidence.

Oh dear me.

...

The expression depicted on that person's face is something akin to bewilderment, sorrow and disappointment.

...

What is my club president, Yukinoshita Yukino, doing here?

* * *

 _Thanks for reading._

 _I know there are multiple fronts being covered, so please bear with me._

 _"If a string is a knot, patience will untie it."_


	5. Lying beneath

_Hello, reader-san._

 _To you who's come to read the following story, I bid you a good day/evening/night._

 _We are here with the fifth chapter! Woop. Woop._

 _I'm about to answer some reviews on chapter 4 before we carry on though._

diceWW _: Oh god. Am I dreaming? Haha, I wish you'd have seen my reaction when I got the notification of your review. I'm happy you dropped by, I read your stories years ago now and boy did I enjoy myself. Good times, good times. Anyways, I'm thankful for your contribution here and I do agree with you: I've put a lot on the plate. This is a bet I wanted to make. This is precisely what I want Hachiman to go through. He's relying on logic and strategic thinking, when solving problems like we do in maths; I want him to be confronted with so many things at once he'll be at a loss sometimes. Of course, this makes it harder to read for you guys. I'm aware of that. If anything, know that it's mostly over. Everything is laid out for now, and Hachiman is doing his best to tackle one thing at a time.  
_

prietar _: Iroha or Yukino's route, huh? Why not Yui or Kaori? Hahaha. I'm evil._

jminator _: Who knows... :3_

BlackPsych _: Welcome back! Our boy Hachiman coming out strong in this one indeed! He kind of was kneeling when she saw through him, but her plans were too much for him to simply nod at. As you mentioned, he's going out of his way to protect someone who just became an even more influent person to him. There is no way he wouldn't act at this point. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

The wind blows over the two of us, her long and silky hair seem to be wavering in slow motion as my brain puts two and two together. Her expression states she heard everything, or at least enough to understand I was speaking with her sister on the phone for a Service Club matter.

 _Hikigaya-kun asked nee-san for help, not mine._

This is what transpires from her reaction, clear as day. If I were to consider the timing, situation and people involved, I can affirm this is the worst possible thing to happen to Yukinoshita.

First, she still hasn't let go of her complex towards Yukinoshita Haruno. Second, we still have _that_ matter left unsettled between the both of us. And finally, her own worth as a member, heck even as the president of the club, is contested by the scene she witnessed just now.

And to say I wanted to currently avoid piling up problems, this is ridiculous.

 **"** **Yukinoshita…"**

I'm at a dead end, I don't know where to begin. I just mutter her name, casting my look away from her.

 **"** **I was looking for you. Yuigahama-san said you went somewhere alone for something related to the club… I figured you'd come here. Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."**

No… why are you the one apologizing…? You know damn well our roles should be reversed.

 **"** **I'm sorry, this wasn't in the plan. I just went out of options and… there were some complications. You know how Isshiki is, she wouldn't want to ruin her image so I couldn't ask you guys…"**

I can feel myself panicking. I make no sense. This is not good.

 **"** **And here I thought you'd changed for the better, Hikigaya-kun."**

Her bitter tone makes me shake inside, out of anxiety.

 **"** **You reverted to your previous self, the one who doesn't care about the consequences as long as the job is done. I…"**

Yukinoshita struggles with herself, her words having difficulty to come out. Her face reflects disappointment and sadness with such intensity I can only feel the same way myself. An ephemeral memory comes to my mind this very moment, something I wish wouldn't have popped out of nowhere like this.

* * *

We were about to reach the falling part of the roller coaster ride, our transport slowly taking us there. That's where it happened.

 _"_ _Hey, Hikigaya-kun."_

I was wondering what she had to say just before the crucial moment of our ride so I turned my gaze towards her and replied.

 _"_ _Hm?"_

The white coat enveloping Yukinoshita emphasized her pale beauty in the cold night around us as she locked her eyes into mine, reaching the deepest parts of my soul. I still remember the feeling it triggered in me, as if it was just a few hours ago.

Reaching for my hand, she spoke in a very soft-spoken voice. I think it was the first time I heard Yukinoshita speak with a tone filled with such emotion.

Her smiling visage on the verge of bursting into tears, she uttered these words I would never forget, even if I wanted to.

 _"_ _Save me someday, okay?"_

…

* * *

And now, here I stand in silence in front of the one I somehow have to save. Yukinoshita is holding her sleeve and speaks again; the way she does it conveys how hurt she is.

 **"** **I wrongly pushed my expectations on you. I should have known better, my past experiences do not lie."**

No, wait…! I have to say something.

 **"** **Listen to me please, don't make hasty decisions now…! I'm sorry, I really am. I'll explain everything to you in due time, I promise. I swear it, Yukinoshita."**

I'm totally panicking now. I don't want that! Not after everything we went through together! I was so close to… to reach a conclusion as to what I wanted from all this! I may still be indecisive on some points but I was closing in on it!

 **"** **It was a mistake, I shouldn't have done that. I agree with you, this was dumb of me. I apologize with all that I am, please don't make it sound like you just want everything to regress to how we were one year ago."**

I stop avoiding her gaze. I want her to see me as I am right now. I want Yukinoshita to feel how genuine my words are, that behind them, there's something real.

Her figure stays still but her face betrays how shocked she is. I can't blame her for that, I'm also in shock to hear myself talking right now; it's probably the first time in my seventeen years that I've felt so desperate for something.

 **"** **Give me one last chance to redeem myself. I need to do this, as the one who failed you… who failed to understand in time what you wanted me to do back then."**

 **"** **H-Hikigaya-kun…?"**

I proceed to bow before her in a posture which leaves no place to doubt the sincerity of my sentence.

 **"** **Stop it… This is embarrassing. Please hold yourself up straight…"**

I do as she says, in all seriousness. My face has been displaying it for a while now, and I keep my sight upon her person.

She adds something else, after a short sigh.

 **"** **There isn't much time left for the three of us in Sobu High**. **I'm not so cruel as to sever our relationship now, nor does the situation require it. This would be overdramatic. Besides, I'm not entirely clean myself…"**

She says that, her eyes downcast and a very sad smile invites itself on her beautiful features.

 **"** **Please come back to the club when you're done. We will be waiting for your report. And I…"**

Yukinoshita begins to walk away, leaving her words hanging but I reach for her wrist. I have no purpose for doing this, there's no reasoning behind it but I… felt like doing it.

And now I do.

 **"** **And I what…?"**

I want to force it out of her. I'm tired of playing hide and seek with each other; Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Isshiki… I want all of us to reveal our cards before it's too late.

She doesn't feel the need to face me, her back is still the only thing in my sight, but she answers nonetheless with a serious tone withholding a hint of hope.

 **"** **Yukinoshita Yukino will wait for** ** _you,_** **Hikigaya Hachiman."**

I'm taken aback and feel a pull on the wrist I'm holding within my hand. Stunned, I just let go as her words slowly sip into my head.

Her gracious silhouette disappears before I know it, leaving me speechless for a moment. Her light perfume is being blown away by the gusts of wind dancing around me, and such is the way nature found for me to stop standing there in a daze.

* * *

It's 4:00pm and classes are over. Putting my coat on, I'm about to leave the school grounds and think up of a quick plan to get Isshiki to meet me but I cross path with Yuigahama, on the way out of our classroom.

 **"** **See you tomorrow."**

 **"** **Say… Are you avoiding us? Like you did before?"**

As she asks the crucial question, I see that her look lacks the usual glint of happiness and excitement which makes it a Yuigahama original. Noticing this makes me feel a pang of regret.

Remember, Hachiman. One problem at a time.

 **"** **I hurt Yukinoshita earlier with my 'way' of dealing with things. I think she needs you more than I need you lecturing me. I will be back when I'm finished with Isshiki's problem, I promised Yukinoshita I would do that. I naturally promise to you as well. Trust me."**

She runs a hand in her peach colored hair, arranging it as I finish my phrase, before pushing her index from the other hand against my left cheek while staring straight at me.

 **"** **I won't let you get away from us again, Hikki."**

 **"…** **!"**

Is it me or did she just entirely discard what I said about me hurting Yukinoshita?

Also… her eyes denote a glimpse of something I thought I would never see in Yuigahama. No, I must be clearly mistaken. I'm way too tired, forget it.

 **"** **I'm not going anywhere. See you."**

 **"** **Bye bye~"**

We leave the room but go our separate ways after we're finished with our salutations. I'm a bit anxious since I know about what the girls will be talking of, but there is someone in dire need of explanation.

We both do, in fact.

In the hallway leading to the exit of the school building, I notice I'm passing in front of Isshiki's classroom; it's weird of me to consider it but I definitely became more conscious of her lately. Not just because of what happened, even before that. I've been taking this route to get out of the building for a moment now, and I didn't even bother to take note of it.

I take a momentary pause in front of it, but still closer to the windowed side of the corridor. I think I've pretty much come to an understanding of what is going on and why she reacted that way, the problem is elsewhere now. Where do I stand in the midst of this?

No. I don't care about this. I don't want to. This wouldn't be a step forward at all. Merely stating where my piece is on the board is not enough.

The question I want an answer to is…

Where do I WANT to stand in the midst of this?

And that question is more difficult than any kind of test I've had to take in my life so far.

I suddenly snap out of it when the door noisily slides open and I watch Kimura Souji, A.K.A Little Hayama, appearing in front of me. He holds a stack of handouts, notes and books in his arms and seem like he was ready to break into a sprint. His blue eyes widen ever so slightly as they meet mine.

 **"** **HIKICHIYA-SENPAI!"**

 _Geh._

Who is this again? I look around me, as if he doesn't address me with this appellation.

 **"** **I'm talking to you, of course! You've come at the right moment, you know that?"**

I don't have time to deal with you though, Souji. Yes brat, I'm referring to you by your first name. Why would I ever respect you, uh? I won't reconsider even if you beg me.

 **"** **Here, take this!"**

He then forces everything he was holding into my own arms. I barely maintain all of this and keep it from falling to the ground.

 **"** **Oi. What do you think you're doing?"**

I reply harshly but the kid grins at me, before playfully hitting my ribs with his elbow. When did his pea-sized brain consider it would be ok to do this with me?!

 **"** **Come on, Hikichiya-senpai. I know you came here to take Iroha-chan's notes since she's absent today. What are you acting all tsundere for? Also, are you still trying to intimidate me? I swear I won't chase after her anymore, don't worry."**

WHO IS A TSUNDERE AGAIN? I dare you to utter these words once more.

 **"** **Don't call me a tsundere, disrespectful punk. And don't come close to me; I don't want people to think you could be my friend."**

Mostly, I don't want them to think I'm so hopeless I need to use my status as a senpai to get a friend. I have some self-respect: I don't need a friend like you.

 **"** **As men who were charmed by the same girl, we can obviously get along! Don't be shy, Hikichiya-senpai. You see, I found my new love already so… you can bury the hatchet, okay? Oh, I'm so awesome, anyone would want me as a friend!** ** _Hahaha._** **"**

He really is a narcissist. This guy must never come in contact with Komachi, not that it could happen but still. I'd rather not.

Wait did I just jinx it by thinking of this?! Please God hear my prayer and make it so I never thought of the possibility.

Anyways, back to the main topic.

 **"** **I'm not that petty. But no, we definitely won't get along so give it up. I'll take care of this though."**

I raise the stack of papers and books in my arms, to illustrate what I was referring to.

 **"** **Don't say that, you never know what can happen in a relationship. Well then, I gotta go. See ya later Hikichiya-senpai!"**

He shoots a thousand watt smile at me before walking away. From the direction he's taking, I can safely assume he's going to his club activities. I can't help but wonder which club he is a part of, but my curiosity quickly vanishes like it came.

Thank you, Souji.

You just gave me the perfect opportunity for me to meet Isshiki.

* * *

Do you want to know what's worse than actually being blind?

It's something happening to most of us in our lives: you think you're certain of having a clear view of the situation you're facing, just before it dawns on you that you've been staring at some illusory scenery.

You wish you were just blind to it all from the beginning because you'll be let down every time by how harsh reality is.

You then engage in a spiral of mixed guilt, regret and shame. You sustain it for a period of time depending on your mental fortitude.

The time has come for me to face the cold hard facts.

I'm not certain I can confirm anything as far as I'm concerned, but the phantasm called normality is slowly tearing apart as we approach graduation-day.

I'm seeing masks dropping left and right and taking in account what each person reveal as this happens, starts to become worrisome.

Tiring even.

Properly reevaluating everyone's true selves takes time and energy: it takes time to accept what they really are, think, feel and want. The energy part is because thinking all over again about what's the best course of action takes its toll on me.

Isshiki Iroha is in love with Hikigaya Hachiman.

Can anyone else vouch for this? I don't know.

What I do know is what happened during that moment, that instant when there was only her honey eyes and mine being locked, our true selves exposed to each other. And it's that span of time which spoke to me, which gave this intuitive statement a push in that direction.

Isshiki initiated this, and I followed. Blindly. In and of itself, my action wasn't wrong at that point. It became wrong when I gave someone in love hope of something they don't believe in themselves; this is precisely why she had tearful eyes and froze at that last step. Thinking Souji stopped us is a misconception, and that's also what destroyed Isshiki's heart.

She knew that if she had the resolve and had reassurance of the reciprocity of her feelings, she would have gone the whole way even with this kid's interruption.

A tiny part of her, at that very moment, hoped for me to clutch the opportunity. She had the hope I wanted this just as much as she did, that our hearts were completely in sync.

It's not a surprise to say it wasn't the case. I still have things to figure out, and I couldn't commit to do that. It would have been wrong.

It wouldn't have been genuine.

But then again, preserving the status quo between us is not possible anymore, not after such an experience. We both know our relationship is about to take colors; it'll be black, white or any nuance of grey in-between, but we have to give up on it being colorless… and harmless.

I add the number I got from Yukinoshita Haruno earlier today to my phone directory, giving it the name of Isshiki Iroha.

Now out in the street, and determined, I press the call button.

After a few rings, I hear a voice making me shiver. A voice I heard not so long ago, using a calm and polite tone I'm not used to. Get a grip, Hachiman. Now is not the time to get cold feet, this train has already departed and I won't get off of it midway through.

 **"** **Hello, this is Isshiki Iroha. May I ask who is on the phone?"**

And thus begins an unprecedented ordeal we both have to weather.

* * *

 _"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" as would Bruce Buffer say._

 _I don't know what to add._

 _Oh yeah EDEN got his new album released today. I listened to everything while writing, it felt pretty good._

 _I'm curious to hear about you guys so don't hesitate to share your thoughts, as usual!_


	6. Ignition

_Hello, Bonjour, Hola, Konnichiwa, and more._

 _It's time for us to delve into chapter six, a chapter focused on Iroha as expected._

 _It's longer than usual so I won't be talking much here and let you guys read what's to come._

* * *

 _ **"Hello, this is Isshiki Iroha. May I ask who is on the phone?"**_

I tighten my grip on the book and printouts in my arms, after I put my earphones and my phone in my coat's pocket. I assimilate her question for a few seconds before I begin to talk myself.

 **"** **Yo, Isshiki. I asked Yukinoshita-san for your number because I was asked to deliver some homework to you. Mind if I come over?"**

I try to sound natural, speaking as I always do.

 **"** **S-Senpai?!"**

She sure sounds surprised. I hear her cough out of shock.

 **"** **Haruno-san did? Did you offer your soul to her?"**

 **"** **What do you take your phone number for? It's not** ** _THAT_** **precious. Yukinoshita-san isn't Satan either… just very close to it. Maybe Satan's daughter or something…"**

She's so cunning it wouldn't surprise me to see her topple the throne, taking Satan's place as Hell's one and only ruler.

 **"** **Anyways, we don't need to talk about Yukinoshita-san. How about you answer my question now before I get sick from standing in the cold?"**

You know all too well where I'm going with this, don't you Isshiki? And I know that you're aware of my plan, so stop beating around the bush and get straight to it. You're more of an assertive and straight-to-the-point girl; the way you usually are is the reason I got closer to you over the course of the last months.

I'm indecisive and I'm surrounded by other people who are just the same. Your straightforwardness helps me feeling more at ease, it's like a breath of fresh air into the stagnating atmosphere I'm perpetually in.

Please Isshiki, do not change now. This is the one situation where we both need to stay true to ourselves.

 **"** **I would need to prepare myself…! My hair is a mess and I need a change of clothes…** "

 **"** **Calm down. I take it you're willing to tell me where you live. I'll take my time coming over so just give me your address and you can get ready."**

 **"** ** _Mou…_ Senpai… Get a clue alrea-"**

 **"** **You're the one who needs to get it right, Isshiki. That's enough of sweeping it under the rug. We don't have time for this."**

 **"…"**

An awkward silence takes place after I interrupt her to say my piece. If I have to get a little harsh to get the point across, I will. This time, I won't let her be the one to initiate.

 **"** **I live at the 1-5-1 apartment complex next to Kitakaizuka school, in Wakaba district. I'll be ready in a hour… I guess. Don't get lost because I won't be answering when I'm showering!** ** _Haha…Ha…_** **Later then."**

She hangs up after giving me her place's location and that forced laugh. I briefly sigh as I stuff my phone back to where it was.

It's about forty minutes away. I'll just take it slow and wait in Mitsuwadai park if I find her place too early.

This is it, huh?

There's no going back from this. I'm about to be the one who disturbs the quiet, peaceful and stagnating water we seemingly enjoyed being in.

I don't think I can deny it at this point in time; in hindsight, I truly did exist there with a complacent attitude, happy that nothing changed. Happy that I wasn't troubled by any kind of change, I did nothing to stop this… farce. I've grown used to society and the way it is, used to being isolated, alone and hated. What was the point of me trying to change it? It'd only bring me troubles and keep me busy running after a pipe dream.

But lately, things changed ever so slightly. We had moments together which made us closer: some with happy feelings, others which were more painful… but all of them were significant enough for something to change. This isn't just strictly about the Service Club.

With Isshiki too.

Driven by what I felt like was my responsibility, I watched over her. I made sure I was available whenever she needed it, because I… changed her school life at least. Pushing a student to become President is bound to change a lot of things in their lives, so I had a duty to be there. This forced me to interact more often with the girl known as Isshiki Iroha.

I think I can safely assume something was created out of this feeling of responsibility towards her, as time passed. Something else than obligation, something she slowly implanted in me because Isshiki was way more proactive about this than I ever was. After that, the two of us meeting was not an event born out of necessity but rather because we desired it. I enjoyed her presence, and she apparently did like being around me too.

And it was about fucking time we took notice of it…

No.

I was probably slower than Isshiki to do so since she reached earlier than I did the conclusion which followed.

Using my transport card to get through the subway portals, I take the Sobu line in the opposite direction. The first train is just about to leave the station so I walk faster to get aboard in time. Lucky me! I even get my favorite seat, in the upper part of the carriage. It's next to the window and the farthest away from the stairs: I can avoid people the most thus being the best position there is.

Watching the platform outside through the glass, I see our train departing and I am a bit shaken by a feeling of anxiety. Up until now, it was my policy to never change who you are because it would just be like admitting you run away from the situation. This was the first argument I ever had with Yukinoshita too. She made it a point changing is the way to solve problems and to save someone.

We had divergent opinions on the subject, and I still think you also need to accept someone as they are instead of forcing them to change. But now that I encountered one which needs a change of some sort, it made me partly reconsider my one-sided opinion.

What we all need to advance is to change our perspective on how things are; we all have our reasons as to why we don't feel like doing it. Some of us may be stubborn, others scared of the unknown factor we will be witnesses of, and more.

I sense my phone vibrate in my coat.

I've never been texted this much in the recent years. Nowadays it's a non-stop flood of messages. How hilarious. It also means you have that much more trouble to deal with.

 **"** **My mother will be here by the way. I forgot to mention (lol)** **ヽ** **(*** **ω≦** **)** **ﾉ** **"**

You expect me to back off, Isshiki? I thought you knew me well.

This is the oldest trick in the book.

It won't have the effect you want on me, as shrewd as you are.

 **"** **I won't be staying for long anyway, don't worry. I'm in the train approaching the Wakaba ward. Just make sure you're ready soon."**

I send her a message in return, reinforcing the fact that I'm coming to her place: it is happening and nothing will delay it. I won't go back until we've settled our matters.

* * *

The trip from the Wakaba ward station to Kitakaizuka elementary school's location roughly takes me eight minutes, thanks to the map application I have on my phone. It's a traditional elementary school resembling the one I attended to in my younger days; I hear the kids happily chatting and playing in the schoolyard.

Ah yes, these kids are the ones being kept a bit longer on school grounds as their relatives can't pick them up early. I know that because I was in the same situation at their age, and so was Komachi.

Did I mention how Mom forgot me once, only bringing back my little sister at home?

Komachi being the good sister she is, functioned like an alarm after that. Every time Mom would forget about me, she would cry asking for my whereabouts before they were farther than ten meters away from school. I know Mom wasn't doing it on purpose too she's just like this even to this day. I inherited her laziness after all. It's not like she hates me or anything. Right…?

Anyway, I find the correct address at the 1-5-1 and gaze over the tall building towering over me. A bunch of apartments are located in there, and one of them is occupied by the Isshiki family.

I head over to the entrance and find their name on the interphone device next to the door. Taking a deep breath, I press the button destined to call the household.

The few following seconds feel like whole minutes. My stress is slowly rising but I'm not backing down, it's out of the question. Not after everything I've done, not this close.

 **"** **This is the Isshiki residence, how can I help you?"**

...

Wow, wait.

I glance at the little LCD screen and blink two times. Maybe my dead fish eyes are trying to pull a fast one on me…

No, I'm seeing alright.

When did Isshiki acquire the power to time travel? Is she that eager to know what the future is made of?

What an intrepid soul.

...

Who am I kidding huh…?

This really is Isshiki's mother, and she can't hide that fact even if she wants to. This is exactly the same thing which happened at Yuigahama's place; in both cases, the mother is just a mirrored future version of the child.

For some reason, it's a very scary observation.

 **"** **Um… hello… I'm Hikigaya Hachiman, a student at Sobu high school and… um… I came to deliver homework and books to Isshiki-san."**

Even though the screen is physically separating us by quite the distance, I have the impression that her stare is one of the most intense I've ever received. Her smile exactly reminds me of her daughter's trademark foxy smile.

 **"** **Iroha told me a senpai would be coming indeed. So it's you, mh…? Please come upstairs, Hikigaya-kun."**

I lightly bow in front of the camera and proceed to the hall where an elevator is available for me to take.

Scary, scary, scary!

Isshiki's mother is too calculating and intimidating! What the hell was up with that gaze? Are you trying to burn my very soul, oi?!

Arriving at the third floor, the elevator stops going up and the door opens. I step out of it and notice Isshiki's parent out a bit further.

 **"** **Hikigaya-kun, over here!"**

I'm sure her smile would make the heart of an outsider who knows nothing about Isshiki, flutter. Her natural beauty, enhanced by a light and measured touch of makeup, coupled with that smile is enough to sway even the coldest of hearts.

So this is how Isshiki will look like, when she'll become an adult…

No, no, no.

I better stop this train of thoughts right there before it becomes dangerous. I may get strongly influenced.

I bow in front of Isshiki's mother, pass the front door and step inside the apartment. I take my shoes off at the entrance, hearing her closing the door as I do.

 **"** **Nice to meet you, Hikigaya-kun. I'm sure you're already aware but I am Iroha's mother. My name is Isshiki Sumire."**

She throws that Isshiki special smile at me, resulting in effectively flustering the young man I currently am. Damn you, woman. Your beauty is wasted on me, can't you pretend you have something to do and leave me waiting here?

 **"** **Nice to meet you."**

She sees me hesitating to speak again and slightly tilts her head.

 **"** **I can take care of this, I'm a strong woman so do not worry Hikigaya-kun. Give the books and printouts to me, I'll take them to Iroha's room."**

She shows me with a gesture of her arms that she wants to hold everything I hold within my own.

Isshiki-san, that's just the same as saying _"Now that you delivered what you came to give, you can go back home delivery boy"_ you know?

 **"** **Um… I was supposed to show a few things to Isshiki-san… about what she has to cover in the assignment and which lessons are important for the test."**

To hell with it, I go all-in. It's time to improvise and hope for the best outcome.

 **"** **You want to show a few things to Iroha? A few things, I see."**

Let's not go _there_ , Mother. Really, this is a misunderstanding or rather a misconception of yours!

 **"** **Aren't you a third year, Hikigaya-kun? What could you possibly know about Iroha's assignment and test?"**

 _Ugh_ , touché. Don't back down, Hachiman! Use everything you could possibly use, any underhanded method is allowed!

A coward like me can rely on the dirtiest methods, just you wait…

Found it.

I'd usually never forgive myself to use _something_ like _that_ but in this crisis I have no time for self-respect. I'll use the opportunity which was given to me by _that_ : be grateful I do!

 **"That... I mean** **Souji… Kimura Souji-kun is a friend we have in common, he's in her class and provided me the instructions I need to give to Isshiki-san."**

Close, dangerously so! I'm glad I had _that thing_ pop in my head at the right time. It's what granted me this opportunity to be here after all.

I see Isshiki's mom doesn't seem convinced from the expression she makes. A woman's intuition can be scary, but add the Isshiki factor and you're left with a gender bender version of Satori Tendō(*), the Guess Monster.

 **"** **If he's also Iroha's friend and classmate on top of it, wouldn't he be the prime candidate to be here today?"**

Stop it, it's downright scary now! Go back to playing volleyball, Tendō(*)!

 **"** **He had important club duties to attend to and unfortunately couldn't come himself. That's why he asked me to do it instead."**

 **"** **I understand, how kind of him. And of you, of course."**

She puts on a smile that I can only describe as somewhat sinister. What do you have in mind now?!

 **"** **For the record, which club is Kimura-kun a part of?"**

You…! She's testing me!

If I answer randomly she'll just make sure to get the answer from her daughter and I'll easily be exposed as a liar who tried everything to get close to the young girl.

It's over, I'm done here.

I did my best but couldn't overcome the greatest foe, the tallest wall and the hardest hurdle I had to face here. The best resolve in the world can only crumble in front of such power.

I start to lower my gaze, admitting defeat and submitting to the overwhelming being facing me…

 **"** **He's in the photography club right, Senpai? He always tries to get you involved in his activities too!"**

An angel! My holy savior has come down and blessed me! Beautiful, shining being with a singing voice, I thank you with all that I am!

Wait, it's just Isshiki.

I'm so sorry Totsuka-tan. I nearly confused you with Isshiki.

So, Isshiki just entered the scene in the nick of time after she walked down the stairs leading to the other rooms of the apartment.

 **"** **Yeah, and honestly it's a bit of a pain. He's lucky I'm a good friend.** ** _Hahaha!_** **"**

I'm disgusting myself, but this is what's needed right now. Play the part, play the part.

…

If anything, this made her mother even more suspicious from what I'm seeing in her light brown eyes.

 **"** **Oh Iroha, you're done. Very well. I'll leave the both of you to your own devices then. I'm sure you have a lot of things to do afterwards so you won't take long right, Hikigaya-kun?"**

It's decided and set in stone.

I never want to come here ever again.

 **"** **Of course, ma'am. I'll be as brief as possible."**

With a last smile of hers, she takes the direction where Isshiki came out from, effectively leaving us alone downstairs.

Isshiki also looks relieved her mother is gone for now, which comforts me in my previous thoughts about her being scary.

 **"** **Sorry about that, Senpai. Let's move over to the living room."**

I simply nod and follow her lead.

* * *

The apartment from what I can see (now that I finally relax and focus on other things than survival) is nothing too special. It's a classic home, the kind you'd see in your mind when the word "apartment" is mentioned. Though, I can say the decoration is well thought-out and most things are neatly arranged. Nothing is out of place, and for someone like me who prefers when everything is organized, that's a plus in my book.

On this floor there seem to be the entrance, living room, kitchen, bathroom and toilet; we head to the left of the entrance to the door connecting the rooms to the living.

It's a spacious one; there's a big screen television which probably supports 4k resolution, and to my surprise, I also notice a PlayStation. Isshiki is an only child right? Maybe her father likes to play some games when he's chilling at home. I don't see Isshiki, who's so worried about social appearances and always wants to go out and socialize, playing video games unless it's some mobile app.

A big table is in the center of the room, a table way too big for only three persons. I assume they receive their family members a lot.

Maybe some colleagues from work too.

Isshiki motions over to the couch in front of the TV, inviting me to come and sit.

 **"** **You can put school stuff on the table. I'll pick it up later."**

I listen diligently to her directions, sitting beside her after I've unloaded my arms from the luggage they carried.

 **"** **I can more or less picture what happened at school for you to come here, Senpai. You didn't have to, you know?"**

She looks at me with a pained look, a bittersweet smile adorning her lips.

Please don't. You're making it harder on you and on me.

 **"** **I didn't have to, that's true. But Isshiki, I wanted to. I don't think it's wrong to follow what you genuinely want to, that's what you taught me through your behavior."**

I can feel it again. It's coming. That state where I can barely think about what is going on, what I want to say, or anything else at all.

Everything just blanks out in my mind, leaving space for _it_.

Isshiki stares at me in disbelief, her eyes widening under the mild surprise surging within her.

 **"** **Senpai…?"**

 **"** **Um… I know I'm kind of acting out of character right now, but I want everything between us to be crystal clear. I'm tired of feeling sorry for things beyond the scope of my knowledge, tired of running after something I can't quite determine. Is it so bad that I want to put all of this into actual, intelligible words?"**

She wants to stop me. It's obvious. After all I'm about to break a taboo everyone has been holding onto, and I'm the one who's been relying on it the most. I have no right to blame her for trying to halt me there… but I won't let her. Not this time.

 **"** **I apologize for making you feel that way yesterday. I don't know why I couldn't-"**

No, this is false. I've made sure to ascertain what is going on with her and with me, last night. I know exactly why but…

 **"** **Forget that, I know why. At least, I think I do. I'm still sorry all the same, Isshiki. I feel bad for what I did."**

 **"** **No… I'm largely the one at fault, Senpai. I just forcefully expected something out of you and-"**

Not this again! Don't sound so much like Yukinoshita: don't make it seem like I'm nothing else than a puppet you all thought you could pull the strings of!

I'm sick of it.

I'm my own person.

I don't reproach you for saying and thinking all of this because I've made nothing until now to make your opinion change about it.

That's what I'm trying to do here, please bear with me.

Wait until I'm done.

 **"** **You forced nothing on me. You simply let out your desire for something you longed for, and I responded to it of my own volition."**

She's in utter shock after hearing these words coming out of my mouth. She blinks multiple times, as her breath starts to become uneven. Her hands reach for the fabric of her skirt, clenching it tightly.

 **"** **I didn't go through with it entirely because… it wouldn't have been fair, or real. Not when everything was left unspoken and undetermined. I don't want to hurt what…"**

I pause myself for a second, not because I'm trying to think about what to say next but precisely because of what I know I'm going to say; my instinct, which has always been about what's best for me to stay in my quiet and peaceful cage, made me stop.

 **"** **I don't want to hurt the feelings of the kouhai I've grown close to."**

 **"…"**

I can see her eyes slowly watering as one of her hands leave her skirt to position itself in front of her mouth: her state of disbelief can't be expressed any better.

 **"** **I'm someone who's still too much of a coward to confess to somebody, and it's been too fresh and new to me to recognize what is happening. I don't want to give you false hopes either. But I want to acknowledge the fact that your feelings have been perceived… and somewhat accepted. I have yet to make sure what's going on with mine. I'm close to finding the answer to a number of questions on this subject… so Isshiki… will you wait for a proper response, should I reach it? I can understand if you'd rather have a clear-cut, conclusive decision immediately but... that's all I really say as of now."**

My breathing has become erratic too, over the course of my speech. I catch myself gasping for air, but also feeling relieved I spilled everything I had on my mind… and most importantly, in my heart.

She smiles as a single tear rolls on her right cheek, making my heart skip a beat and also hurt a little. The expression she makes is so authentic, sincere and true to what she feels that I can't be unfazed by the sight of it.

I hear the girl in front of me laughs nervously before responding.

 **"** ** _Haha…_ I think I will take my chance and wait for your genuine answer... but** **who could have thought… Senpai would be the one to change his ways…"**

 **"** **I don't know. Certainly not me, you can trust me on that."**

I smile a little myself, my answer getting another laugh out of Isshiki before she speaks again.

 **"** **It's… weird. I feel like you are the one who forced a confession out of me…"**

I silently shake my head at first, a way of negating her statement before adding my point of view on the matter.

 **"** **You've properly confessed, Isshiki. I mean… for Hikigaya Hachiman to notice that… it must have taken a good lot of unaltered, sincere feelings to reach his barricaded heart. A heart he thought to be insensitive to this kind of thing."**

I'm also confessing, in a way. It's just not the same type of confession. That type would still have to be delayed a little bit.

 **"** **I'm supposed to wait for you to decide yourself about what you want to make of me but I'm not that patient of a girl, y'know?"**

If what I said so far could be assimilated to a confession… of course this would happen right.

It's such a wonder how much of an idiot I can be when it comes to this.

And when you know what kind of girl Isshiki Iroha is, mostly an assertive and recently more self-confident one, the outcome is evident.

After all, anything inhibiting her has completely disappeared from the board. It's like the King piece is in plain view and your Queen is obviously in the most advantageous position to take it away.

A pair of delicate lips found their way to mine, deposing a sweet, loving kiss as they landed on the desired destination.

It didn't last long as I could only think of it in retrospect, brief as a passing breeze over me but powerful enough to leave a lasting impression, a feeling of slight dizziness sprouting out of it.

 **"** **I'll have the honor of taking your first kiss, Senpai-"**

She interrupts herself, instantly correcting herself.

 **"** **No… Hachi."**

Her sly self is coming forth once more, at full strength. She dries her tears, and flashes a cunning smile embellishing her pretty features.

I mentioned it sometime ago but she truly is the second most rotten person in the world.

A powerful crowned piece ruling the board.

The most rotten one is of course myself.

That one crowned piece which only thinks of protecting itself, moving one step at a time.

* * *

 _(*): Satori_ _Tendō is a fictional character coming from_ "Haikyuu!" _, a popular volleyball manga. He's a middle blocker, and_ _his guesses are nearly always correct so he earned the nickname "Guess Monster" from other teams. I thought it could be a funny reference.  
_

 _I'm also using a lot of Chess references._

 _I'll be seeing you guys for chapter seven, as a flame was just ignited in this one._

 _I'm ready to receive complaints about how things turned out this time, I understand how it can be disliked but trust me, that's truly the way I want the things to be for now. And it won't stop me from writing my story how I see fit._


End file.
